believe me, i am happy.
ive cultivated a life that i am fond of, and proud to be building.
id be lying if i said that has always been the case...
but the important take away is, that i am actively happy.
this poem might suggest otherwise, and thats hardly because i have unhappiness in my heart
its simply the nature of things:
the bittersweet dichotomy of life.
--there i was,
sitting in my tub,
counting my abundance,
as i watch the candelight dance
my heart was heavy with happiness,
then it sank slowly into the water
as i allowed myself to remember all the times
i had been happy before now,
times i hadnt,
times i had forgiven,
times i havent.
i finally felt what my grumpy (grandpa) told me in times i was unhappy & wanted to quickly end that less than ideal emotion:
"don't hurry through your life. take your time, because one day, there isnt any left."
The Human Condition
feeling a grimace stain your face
but you smile anyway
you feel it everyday
looking back, there’s so much to see.
of things you might change,
or go to again,
places you lived,
places you’ve been.
and the grimace sinks in again.
loved ones lost,
making new friends,
we smile to cover the stain.
we mean it, it’s real.
our hearts are wide open -
but that makes it hard to heal.
our time is dancing,
through the years.
we watch them, we hold them
with our grimace
and our tears,
and we smile
to dull that stain made of awareness and fears.
dance slowly, my dear.
March 6, 2020