past peeking
i snuck back,
For a moment -
I peeked at my past.
Like I lusted for a 4x6,
some moment,
fixed.
Seeing what I was;
Feeling what it meant.
Raw and exposing -
Lamenting, for myself,
what i was.
Feeling estranged,
because:
Time sands
us down
to
the
core,
until there is
hardly anything more,
than our fondest memories &
heaviest regrets.
I have moved forward
— somehow that’s also moving back.
time
is
a
trap.
as I peek back to see,
I realize,
I never want to leave.
(7/14/21)