past peeking

i snuck back,

For a moment -

I peeked at my past.

Like I lusted for a 4x6,

some moment,

fixed.

Seeing what I was;

Feeling what it meant.

Raw and exposing -

Lamenting, for myself,

what i was.

Feeling estranged,

because:

Time sands

us down

to

the

core,

until there is

hardly anything more,

than our fondest memories &

heaviest regrets.

I have moved forward

— somehow that’s also moving back.

time

is

a

trap.

as I peek back to see,

I realize,

I never want to leave.

(7/14/21)